Many people today suffer from betrayal trauma without an inclination of what it is. Betrayal trauma can be likened to when a person you are significantly attached to or depend on, like a friend, parent, spouse, or lover, doesn’t only betray your trust but also lets you down in the most critical way. People who experience the trauma of sexual betrayal usually go through that period where they want to ask the betrayer a bunch of questions relating to the betrayal like where, when, and how, and why it happened. These questions are usually associated with the betrayed partner going through emotional distress and desperately trying to seek safety, which results in the need to find the truth after a break in trust.

Recovering from betrayal trauma is not something that can be done in a day or two. On average, it usually takes between eighteen months to three years to absolutely recover, especially with a lot of help and moral support. There are several steps to take in other to help foster the healing of betrayal trauma in a healthy way.

STEPS TO HELP HEAL FROM BETRAYAL TRAUMA

  • Do not blindly blame yourself

Avoid criticizing yourself unfairly as well as attribute all faults to yourself for the reason of break in trust between you and your partner, spouse, friend, or family. Never compromise your integrity, and don’t blame yourself for the person you are or the person you believe you can be.

  • Avoid Rebound relationships

Immediately entering a new relationship to try and numb the pain associated with the previous one is never the best move. Do not rush to replace the loss and avoid every form of temptation to numb the pain. It is necessary for you to consider how the events unfolded, so taking some alone time to be by yourself is not a bad thing.

  • Consider things in the relationship that you would have done differently

As earlier stated, avoid blaming yourself; however, it is also essential for you to think back on the relationship and consider some things you would have handled differently.

  • Focus on achieving success

it will help if you put more effort into building yourself as a person as well as your self-confidence. Get yourself involved in activities that you can be successful. You don’t necessarily need to go all out; start small and see where it goes from there.

  • Pay more attention to your physical health

Exercise is often regarded as an effective antidepressant, so you can draft an exercise routine that you must duly follow. Also, avoid every form of self-medication, and also you could consider making some changes to your diet.

  • Consider working with a professional

Employing a professional’s counseling, therapy or coaching services is beneficial towards healing betrayal trauma as they can provide you with healthy coping skills and the best possible means of dealing with the emotional pain and successfully move on to the next phase of your life.

In a situation where you are working hand in hand with your partner to heal from betrayal trauma, seeking the help of support groups or professionals can be very beneficial. However, if you feel the trauma supersedes the urge to stay in the relationship, you can still find healing and recovery, even if you choose that path.  More importantly, recovering from this experience requires that you are willing and ready to put in the effort to heal. The road to recovery is never easy, but with proper guidance and support, you will be able to leave behind the trauma and fully recover from the painful experience.

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Heidi Kinsella Therapist and Clinical Director Fourth Dimension Counseling - Fourth Dimension Healing Ranch

Fourth Dimension Counseling & Coaching is now offering five-day intensives in Maple Valley, near Seattle, Washington for betrayed partnersmen impacted sexual compulsivity and couples impacted by sexual betrayal trauma.
These intensives have been designed by Heidi Kinsella, LMHC, SUDP, CSAT-S, CPTT-S, CMAT, CCPS, EAMHP and Carol Juergensen Sheets, LCSW, CSAT, CCPS-S, PCC author of Help.Her.Heal, Unleashing Your Power: Moving Through the Trauma of Partner Betrayal and Help.Them.Heal, Amy Sohler, MA, LMHC, SUDP, CSAT who worked at Gentle Path at the Meadows and Karen Cooper, MA, LMHC, SUDP-T CSAT, EMDR-II.
These intensives are set in a rural setting and designed for clients to interact with each other, nature and horses and offer many experiential therapeutic opportunities.

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Learn More about Intensive Retreats Near Seattle, WA. at Fourth Dimension Healing Ranch in Maple Valley. Our retreats are immersive, therapeutic, healing experiences designed to help people impacted by sex and porn addiction,and sexual compulsivity including sex and porn addicts as well as betrayed partners who have experienced betrayal trauma or infidelity in their relationship or marriage. We offer retreats designed specifically to men or women and include group therapy and Equine Assisted Therapy.  Jump Start or Reboot your sexually sobriety or betrayal trauma recovery at one of our upcoming healing intensive retreats at Fourth Dimension Healing Ranch in Maple Valley near Seattle, Washington.