Can a Relationship Survive Infidelity?
Cheating is a serious and disappointing act in a relationship, and some couples do not make it through their relationship because of external affairs. When some are asked, they even threaten to hurt their significant partner in such a case, while some have experienced this in their past relationships, but some haven’t. The YouGov/The Economist postulated that in every five Americans, one has cheated, summing up to 20% in every five. Although cheating has happened, there are still ways to survive infidelity in a relationship.
Cheating might be a cold-hearted act, but there are still complex reasons for the action. In some infidelity cases, the cheating partner never plans for the relationship to escalate into sex. It often starts as friendship which gradually turns into a relationship that can destroy the home.
For a start, couple therapist Chlipala advises the unfaithful partner to take full responsibility for their misconduct. Then, the state of the marriages has to be a counterweight to find out the factors that led to the act. A relationship that creates an opportunity to be unfaithful will always face a cheating partner, and every relationship has to mend ways to close that opportunity.
There are chances to have a good relationship after an infidel act by your partner. The continuation of the relationship depends on many factors. Here are some steps to implement for your relationship to survive infidelity.
Talk about the incident.
Some discussion needs to be clarified by the unfaithful partner, such as who, how, where, why, and so on. As a cheating partner, please do not say it’s the past; let’s move on as this statement doesn’t make amends but will only fuel the argument.
These discussions should be done in the presence of a therapist to avoid violence and the merry-go-round effect. It is advised to omit details; for instance, if it was a sexual affair, skip the information on the position, how you felt, etc. These critical factors need to be known to build trust again in the relationship.
Commit to being transparent with each other.
Most relationships that experience infidelity lack transparency which is total honesty. The unfaithful partner can find it difficult to be honest about the incident, but this simple act is needed to move on in the relationship. Trying to cover your unfaithful act with lies will only lead to more lies. Come out clean so reduce the feeling of vulnerability and guilt in your relationship. It’s easier to talk to someone about the incident than your partner. This guilt will make you feel inferior and secretive in your relationship, and you won’t be able to discuss freely with your partner to avoid an argument that might spill the beans.
Be willing and able to take steps to heal.
Cheating causes PTSD as it’s considered a trauma. The incident keeps replaying on the partner’s mind, which might make it difficult to move on. The unfaithful partner needs to commit to taking all necessary steps for the relationship to heal as you move on. As aforementioned, transparency is required for the relation to keeping working. This might include your partner requesting access to your phone logs, computer, bank statement, etc. such honesty will reduce the level of PTSD your partner experiences, which will help in the healing process.
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